A King, A Queen and a Kook
by dionysianDaydream
Summary: How will this odd threesome last a week at Ember Island? Check out the romantic comedy that BENDS all expectations.


Ty Lee's excitement about her theatre troupe's seven day vacation turned to despair when she found out that the luxury bungalows of the Ember Island beach resort had all been reserved. Because of this, the troupe members were confined to the unsightly economy class shacks of the tucked away and considerably less appealing jungle adventure themed resort, Coal Cove.

As if that were not bad enough, the fancy beach bungalows had been bought up by none other than the newly instated Fire Lord Zuko and his bride-to-be, Empress Mai!

Ty Lee approached her close friends the first chance she could find them alone - _not_ surrounded by Fire Nation guards for a change - finding them wrapped in each other's arms along a shallow sand bar, shielded from view of the shore by a small grove of palm and coconut trees.

"Zukie! Maiii~!"

Before either could react, she squeezes in between the lonesome lovers.

"Did I get in the middle of something again? Well I'm afraid it will have to wait, because this is important."

"Ty Lee..." Zuko starts to say, but the girl pinches the air around his mouth, a gesture the scarred king was all too familiar with, one tantamount to her screaming at him to shut up.

"An incredible travesty has been commited on this very beach and something has to be done about it."

Zuko, looking markedly less imposing without his ceremonial robes - decked out in a pair of swim trunks marked by a school of colorful fish that Mai had insisted he wear - scratches his head. "A travesty? Did a fire ferret get into the jacuzzi again?" He says sheepishly.

Mai laughs softly. "That was quite an experience." She says, and Zuko smiles.

Ty Lee, however, is not amused.

The agitated acrobat crosses her arms. "My performing group is on vacation this week, but all of the bungalows were already reserved for _your_ soldiers and _your_ nobles." She glares at the Fire Lord Zuko as if he were nothing more than a troublesome child. "You're the one who insisted I come here, and this is how I'm treated? Just hidden away behind the dunes, while you and Mai have all the good beach to yourself?"

He takes a deep breath and looks to his fiancee for help but Mai only shrugs, averting her eyes. She would rather not get involved in this.

"You have to understand that our betrothal is a major event of great significance for not just the Fire Nation, but for the whole world. It is a landmark of my reign as Fire Lord." He begins, the hesitation underlying his every word plainly obvious - amusing, even - for the the girls to witness. "It is only natural that all of the Fire Nation's soldiers, who are expected to fight and die under my name, be invited. Then there are the nobles, a few honored guests..."

"A few honored guests, huh?" Ty Lee comes up closer to him. Bare torso against bare torso, she guides his arm around her toned waist. "And who might those honored guests be, Zukie?"

Zuko starts to sweat as Ty Lee delicately runs her hand along his chest as she whispers "tell me" into his ear. Mai watches quietly.

"Well, I invited the Avat- I mean, Aang. Katara, Sokka, Toph."

She nuzzles her cheek against his chest.

"And who did _they _invite to the resort?" She asks warmly. Soothingly. Luring him into a false sense of security. "Were they allowed to bring their own guests?"

"Well that's only..."

Without warning, Ty Lee grips Zuko's testicles at which he yelps like a frightened cat.

"Since you like talking about honor so much, tell me, would you really be so willing to let _strangers_ from foreign countries take up the entire resort, at the expense of your own people? Including me?" She growls at him while tightening her grip - increasing the pain - and she taunts him playfully, _is that the kind of Fire Lord you want to be, Zukie?_

But this was no game, and she was not holding back.

"N..n...no!" He yields with pleading eyes.

Zuko's cheeks are flushed red as the sunburn he would have by the end of the day, and though he struggles desperately to loose his junk from the chi blocker's grip, his squirming only motivated her resolve.

Meanwhile Mai, uninterested in the awkward interchange, watches a tern glide overhead. The bird circles above them as if it were a vulture awaiting a kill.

"So tell me what you have to do now, Zukie. Tell me what you have to do so that I don't spend the next week sleeping on a hammock in a shack that smells like low tide, with a snoring fire juggler and bearded lady to keep me company."

Zuko grimaces. Sputters. Gasps. Warm sweat drips down his neck. He answers in a high pitched squeak, "I have to make space."

Mai nonchalantly throws a knife at the patient avian-variety; nailing it (in the heart). It pivots and spirals in its descent until it crashes beakfirst into the sand bar.

Ty Lee finally lets Zuko go, smiling cheerfully. "Good boy! And you'll have that done by tomorrow, right?" She asks with a cute trill, but, as you can imagine, in a way that strongly suggested there was only one acceptable response.

This the Fire Lord understood, and he nods, the throbbing pain in his fireballs having rendered him temporarily mute.

She looks at Mai, asking, "How do you put up with him?"

Now that the conflict had been sufficiently resolved (for now) and Ty Lee could return to her usual easygoing nature, the sight of the future empress with a less formal appearance: ebony hair flowing, wearing a red bikini top and red sarong wrap decorated by lighter pink colored floral designs, made her swoon.

Ty Lee looks around nervously. One of Zuko's loud groans makes her jump, and she shoots him an incriminating look for it.

"I'd love to get in with you two but, um..."

"You might be caught." Mai finishes for her with a smile, twirling a strand of her hair around one finger. "I get it. Don't worry, we're not going anywhere."

The two close their eyes while they lean in for a kiss and, because neither of them were able to contain the intense flood of emotions that came forth, what was originally intended to be just a quick peck on the lips did not end there.

Looking up just as he is beginning to regret ever getting involved with Ty Lee in the first place, Zuko is conveniently reminded of the special perks of their relationship.

Mai, with Ty Lee's arms wrapped around her neck, peeks open one eye to see Zuko staring; dumbfounded, his lip trembling with the intense fluctuation in emotion she knew he was experiencing; going from the searing pain of having his chestnuts held in a gymnist's vicegrip to the primal ecstasy of watching his two girlfriends smack lips with each other.

_Even MORE exciting than when that fire ferret crawled into the jacuzzi. _The thought randomly crosses her mind, causing her to snicker and, to the disappointment of all present with myself included, break up one heck of a beautiful make-out session.

The girls and even Zuko have to take a moment to decompress. To Mai it was much like the careful, gradual process behind an Air Bison's landing after flying high above the clouds. Or, more accurately, after making out with another, particularly attractive and bright-eyed white bikini-clad bison while her sworn significant other watched.

As she watches Ty Lee's petite form retreat across the shoreline, the only thing that Mai could think about for a good long while was how much she hated fire ferrets.


End file.
